Mind Over Body

Our mind sets the foundation not just for how we feel, but for how we act and communicate. And sometimes the biggest perceived obstacle isn't the thing we're truly afraid of.

Don't tell my next tennis opponent, but since shoulder replacement surgery, I've had trouble with balls hit high to my backhand. There's no real pain involved — my mechanics are just off.

My coach pointed out something interesting: I'm mentally anticipating pain that isn't going to happen, and that anticipation is throwing off my physical response. I hesitate. I don’t position myself properly and react too slowly. The injury healed. The fear didn't get the memo.

It got me thinking about how often this shows up off the court, especially in how we work with others.

→ The employee who braces for criticism in every piece of feedback, so they stop hearing the actual message — and start defending before there's anything to defend against.

→ The manager who anticipates pushback from a direct report, so they soften a message so much it loses all its clarity — and the real issue never gets addressed.

→ The colleague who assumes a curt email means someone's upset with them, so they respond defensively — and turn a non-issue into a real one.

In each case, the "injury" — the bad outcome we're bracing for — may not even be real anymore or may never have been. But the anticipation still shapes how we show up: our tone, our timing, our willingness to be direct, our ability to listen.

I'm working on trusting the shoulder again.